


Dreading the silence

by karasunotsubasa



Series: KageHina Week December 2014 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hinata is dying and Kageyama suffers, M/M, basically that's it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 21:11:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2747246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karasunotsubasa/pseuds/karasunotsubasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata's mother sat at the bedside, and when she turned, Kageyama saw her tear-streaked face. That was the moment he realized. It was real. Hinata really had an accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreading the silence

**Author's Note:**

> KageHina Week December 2014  
> day 4  
> prompt: Apollo - music

The news came as a shock to everyone, but they couldn't even begin to imagine how much pain tore at Kageyama's heart. Anger, denial, that was his first reaction. He couldn't, didn't want to believe it. He rushed out of the gym as he stood, ignoring the calls of his name from the coach and his teammates, and even though it was only mid-autumn, his clothes were too light and the wind relentlessly slashed at his bare arms and legs. But he didn't care. All he wanted to do was find Hinata and demand answers.

What sort of a sick joke was this?

People on the streets sent glances his way, some concerned, some mocking, some disturbed. And he supposed he must have looked like an idiot, too. He swore to himself that Hinata was going to pay dearly for this prank.

His throat hurt from the harsh gulps of chilly air, and his muscles stung from strain when Kageyama finally stepped through the front door of the hospital. If that damn shrimp wasn't here... The lady at the front desk gave him the floor number and a look that made Kageyama's insides flip uncomfortably, but he brushed it off as inconsequential. She was just a receptionist, she couldn't know anything important.

Instead of taking the lift, he jumped up the stairs, a few steps at the time, too impatient to wait. And then he was there, clinically white door suddenly huge and imposing. He knocked out of sudden consideration for Hinata's family - _if_ the news had been true, but he was perfectly sure it wasn't - and pushed the knob, opening it to reveal a single room with a lone bed near a small, now covered with light green drapes window.

Hinata's mother sat at the bedside, and when she turned, Kageyama saw her tear-streaked face. That was the moment he realized. It was real. Hinata really had an accident.

He swallowed the rising bile and stepped inside the room. His legs felt unsteady, as if all strength left him at the door. He stopped at the end of the bed, his eyes wandering up to the pale face under the oxygen mask. Kageyama knew he won't forget that sight till the day he dies.

Hinata looked awful, his face nearly as white as the sheets he was lying on and the bandage that covered one of his eyes and head. Scratches and bruises on his cheeks jabbed Kageyama's eyes with the sharp contrast of dark crimson blood and blue-violet of under-skin effusions. His breathing seemed stable, but Kageyama could barely see the air Hinata puffed into the mask. The steady noise of the heart monitor was the only thing that calmed the sudden fear that gripped Kageyama by the throat.

"The doctors say he won't make it," Hinata's mother tightened her hold on her son's hand, as her tears continued to fall at the white sheets. "The damage to his internal organs was too extensive. They gave him 2 weeks at most..."

Kageyama looked at her bowed head, and couldn't believe it. So what, this was it? Everything they worked so hard on ends here? He turned his gaze towards Hinata's motionless form. ' _And you're okay with it?'_ he thought, as if he expected an answer.

Yet none came, Hinata's eyes stayed closed, his body limp, unconscious.

He stepped around the bed, and placed a hand on the woman's bent shoulder. He was never good at talking, but this time, this time he knew what he wanted to say. And he was sure that if Hinata could hear him, he would approve.

"He's strong," he said, looking into her eyes, which were so similar to the ones he came to know. "He won't give up, and neither should you."

And with that he left, the sudden urge to cry too much to hold in. He took a shivering breath, his throat choked, eyes hot with unshed tears. He didn't want to believe it. The anger, denial, everything he felt before coming to this hospital room, it all seemed pointless now. Hinata would die...

If he did, Kageyama was sure he would never be the same.

If he did, he would take a part of Kageyama with him. A part that Kageyama could never get back. A part that was capable of love.

 

* * *

 

It's been 5 days since then, and as every afternoon before, this time he skipped practice and came to the hospital as well. He knew the way by heart now, his feet guiding him through hallways on autopilot. Usually no one was there at this time, and Kageyama just sat in silence, looking at Hinata's sleeping face, sometimes playing with threads that slipped from one of the numerous bandages. And sometimes he would talk to Hinata.

Mostly it would be like talking to himself, he knew Hinata couldn't hear him, he was still unconscious. But there were rare times when tired, faded eyes opened and Hinata turned his head towards him, asking about a thing or another. They were mostly trivial things, like 'how is the team doing?' or 'you shouldn't skip practice, Kageyama-kun' which brought a small smile to Kageyama's lips instead of the irritated scowl it used to. These moments were everything to him, no matter how inconsequential they may have been to anyone else - to him, they gave hope.

He pushed open the door, the sun from the window right in front of it blinding him for a second or two. Blinking rapidly, Kageyama entered the room, and closed the door behind himself. He walked up to the lone chair next to the bed and dropped his bag down to the floor with as little noise as possible. Hinata was once again asleep, but he always was when he came. Kageyama smiled a bit.

It was a good thing that no one was visiting at the same time as him, he thought, as he bent down to place a gentle kiss to Hinata's forehead. He stayed frozen for a moment, his eyes closed, just feeling the presence of the other. Hinata's hair smelled strongly of the hospital, and Kageyama's hand on his cheek trembled slightly at the sudden weave of suffocating, emotional pain that travelled through his body.

He released a shaky breath and sat at the bedside, reached into his bag and took out his phone and headphones. He slipped them into his ears, like every other day, but didn't put any music on. He couldn't listen to anything right now, it was just to dissuade the chatty nurses from approaching him. Kageyama slipped his hand into Hinata's limp one, and covered it with his other. Looking up, he couldn't help the feeling of bitterness that stabbed him in the heart.

That was just his luck. When he finally found a piece of happiness, the fate has ripped it away from him, time and time again. It was friends at first, then volleyball, and now Hinata - the only person he could ever love. Kageyama's fingers tightened around Hinata's hand.

Hinata wasn't always so important to him, he could still vividly remember the months of angry arguments, shouted obscenities and punches, pushes and painful head grips. But it all paled in comparison to what came next. He fell in love. And not only that - the feeling was mutual.

No matter how many times Kageyama came back to the memories of how they first started dating, he still couldn't believe it actually happened. It was the most cliché scenario of them getting accidentally locked in the changing room after practice and having to stay there for the night. If anyone ever told Kageyama that it would be the best night of his life for long months to come, he'd glare at them with his most scary face on, for sure.

But it still happened. They had been locked in, and before they noticed they were talking about all kinds of things - love included. Kagyama remembered how Hinata's cheeks shone with embarrassment as he listened to Hinata talk about his crush, and he remembered teasing him about it. And then he would probably never forget the anger that flashed through Hianta's eyes as he jumped to his feet and screamed at the top of his lungs 'You're such an asshole, Kageyama! I can't believe I'm in love with you!'. Immediately afterwards Hinata locked himself in the small bathroom stall and refused to come out, no matter what Kageyama said. Until he confessed to.

It was the weirdest thing ever when the door finally opened and the small figure practically threw itself at him, only his superior reflexes allowing Kageyama to catch him. They hugged, and kissed, which was always followed by bouts of embarrassment and avoiding the other's eyes, and somehow the night turned into a brand new day; and when the rest of the team stumbled through the door, they found them sprawled on the floor and nearly on top of one another, sleeping like logs.

Kageyama smiled at the sudden nostalgia. A lot has changed since then, their relationship was still rocky at times, but even though they didn't lose any of their boisterousness, they couldn't hurt the other on purpose anymore. It was as if they were finally in sync, finally two pieces of a puzzle joining together and sealing the edges.

And now...

Now Hinata was leaving.

Kageyama's throat tightened. They still had all their lives before them, all the tournaments to win, all the dates to plan and then skip at the last moment to practice some more before another match, all the new techniques to learn. All this time that was now stolen from them.

He felt the tears roll down his cheeks, but he didn't care. He closed his eyes, and bowed his head over Hinata's hand, still tightly held in both of his. Hinata couldn't go, he couldn't leave him...

The hand in his twitched and Kageyama looked up. Hazy, chestnut-coloured eyes blinked at him, as if trying to clear the fog that continued clinging to him no matter what.

"What are you listening to?" the voice was quiet, but in the silence of the room Kageyama heard every word loud and clear.

"Just this one song," he answered, remembering the headphones in his ears. "It's really sad."

Hinata's pale lips quirked, as if he tried to smile, but couldn't. "I can see that," he said and closed his eyes briefly. Talking was clearly exhausting for him. Kageyama's heart clenched painfully in his chest and another tear fell down his cheek. "Let me hear it too," barely a whisper, and Kageyama's hands squeezed Hinata's in agreement before he let go.

He plucked one bud from his ear and put it on the pillow next to Hinata's head, as he opened the music app on his phone and clicked the first song on the list. It didn't matter what it was. If it was happy or sad, if it was a one he liked or not.

They both knew he lied. It wasn't the music he was listening to, but the sound of the machine supporting Hinata's life, the clock painfully ticking the precious seconds away, and his slowly weakening heartbeat.

Waiting for, and dreading, the moment it will turn into complete silence.

**Author's Note:**

> hahahaha.... kill me now pls *gross sobbing*


End file.
